


The Only Lie That Mattered

by BombshellKell



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Flashback, Post-Avengers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-14
Updated: 2012-10-14
Packaged: 2017-11-16 08:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/537267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BombshellKell/pseuds/BombshellKell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sif was the one person Loki never lied to. Until there came one lie he knew he had to make.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Only Lie That Mattered

“You know I hate it when you lie to me.” She was angry. Of course, she had every right to be angry. “You told me you’d set her straight. That you’d tell her we were sparring.” 

“Sif, I’m not going to lie to my mother. Besides, she isn’t a fool. She knows the difference between sparring and what we were doing. And who spars in the gardens at all, besides Thor when he’s had too much to drink?” Loki sighed, looking at her from the other side of his bed. The furs draped across it were usually so inviting, but now, they were only an obstacle that she was putting between them. 

“She can’t… know, Loki,” Sif insisted. “No one can know. If she knows, she’ll tell Thor, she’ll tell the Allfather, and Thor’s and my engagement will be cut, and then…” 

“So far,” Loki interrupted, “you haven’t said anything I’m opposed to.” She stared at him as if she’d been slapped. 

“I thought you cared for me. You know what my life would be like if I left Thor now. I may be Asgard’s greatest warrior, but in the eyes of everyone, I’m still a woman. And women who are unfaithful to their husbands, even their husbands-to-be, are still scum. It won’t matter what I think of myself, because everyone else will fail to take me seriously for the rest of eternity. Is that what you want?” 

“You know I don’t. Which is why I lied to you. My mother will not tell our secret, no matter the stretches of your paranoia. And we can keep one another.” He opened his arms. “Now, and when you and Thor are married, and always. Even if I must stay in the shadows of your life, I will not leave you. And I will not lie to you again.” 

She was shedding her clothing, almost without even thinking about it, and soon she was crawling across the furs and into his open arms, her breath against his neck. “Promise me.” 

“I promise you.” 

\- - - 

“…I know you hate it when I lie to you,” Loki said weakly, looking up at her from where he was crumpled on the floor of the cell they’d thrown him in once they’d gotten back from Midgard. 

“And yet, you do it anyway.” Her voice was strained; she was trying to hold back tears as best she could. “Every time, I trust you. Every time, you show me that I can’t.” 

He shook his head, pulling himself up into as much of a sitting position as he could be bothered with. “If only you knew the whole truth, Sif.” 

“If only you would give it to me!” She was shouting now, every sound like a scrape of broken glass to his brain. “But I can’t expect the truth from you. Thor’s told me how much of a fool I am. For always having faith in you. For thinking you would come back, even after all that time, and be the person I lost. I lost Thor to that Midgardian girl, I lost you… what did you leave me with?” 

“The same thing I left with,” he said numbly. “Nothing.” 

Her eyes filled with tears, and some of them spilled down her cheeks. They were still dirty; she’d been sparring with Fandral and Hogun and Volstagg, no doubt, or just by herself, letting go of her frustrations, pretending every slash of her sword was a slash to his face, his chest. With a grunt, she hauled open the cell door that had been unlocked for her. Loki’s head snapped up, a brief fear flashing in his eyes before she fell to her knees in front of him. 

“I hate you,” she said flatly. 

“I know,” he replied.

He could see her try to convince herself that she’d only fallen to her knees to make herself level with him, that she wasn’t weak enough to do this because of how hurt she was. But her face collapsed underneath the facade and she couldn’t take it anymore. In a sharp movement, Loki pulled her in close to him, running his hands down the length of her hair, memorizing what it felt like, trying to remember. She still wasn’t crying, only breathing hard into his shoulder, her fingernails like splinters on his back. 

“And I hate it when you lie to me. I hate it. You promised me.” 

“I know.” 

“You promised me that you would never leave me.” 

“I know, Sif.” 

She didn’t let go of him, and minutes passed, with her shaking and breathing and holding all of her weakness inside. His voice felt numb to him when he next spoke. 

“…This isn’t going to last forever. I will be… well, again. I swear it.” 

“Another lie?” Her voice was almost a growl.

“No. I will walk out of this cell, and walk up to you in front of all of Asgard, and show them all that I’ve always belonged to you. They’ll let me out of here. I’ll show them that I can be trusted again. I swear to you, Sif, that this will pass, and soon.” 

She broke open. Her shoulders shook with sobs and her tears drenched his tunic, made his shoulder warm and wet. He held her, tightly, dependently, knowing that if she let go of him he would just fall back into the black again and start to drown without her to keep him above the water. And that was inevitable. He was not good, and he never would be.

He’d lied to her again, but this was really the only lie that mattered.


End file.
